At TimeZoneOne we often talk about flying kiwis. Kiwis can’t actually fly, in fact, as birds go the kiwi probably isn’t the most impressive, they’re kind of odd really – they sound like this…

…they’re nocturnal, they have little stubby wings, stubby legs, a round body, a long awkward beak and they lay eggs that are 20% of their own body mass, which is like giving birth to a 4-year-old. But maybe it’s that kind of can-do attitude that has seen it become a national symbol.

The story goes that once upon a time the kiwi was an impressive, colorful bird, with large impressive wings who soared above the forests. One day the god of the forest gathered the birds together and told them that the bugs on the forest floor were killing the tree roots and that if someone didn’t go live down there and sort it out the forest would die and they would have no home – however, whoever went to live on the forest floor would need to adapt to that environment and they’d have to leave behind their beautiful feathers and they would never fly again. As you can imagine, there weren’t a lot of wings being raised or feathered heads nodding, but the kiwi volunteered and was transformed into the odd little creature he is today. The other birds got to keep their pretty feathers, but they all owe a debt to the humble kiwi who scurries around in the dark cleaning up the forest floor. Kiwi’s are modest creatures, we don’t need to show off with bright plumage, we just like to get the job done and focus on the bigger picture.

Here’s a wee game I whipped up that doesn’t illustrate any of the points of that story, but it does have flying kiwis (the bird) dodging flying kiwis (the fruit) for people who are into that sort of thing. I didn’t bother to set up a high score thing, but feel free to leave your score in the comments so that everyone can know how awesome you are, try to be honest or, if you’re going to lie, be epic and say you got over a trillion points.

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David ‘kiwi as*’ McLeod

*As  (particle – intensifier)

1. too, indeed, really, so, very, quite – an intensive particle following immediately after the word it relates to. It may be used after all types of bases, but particularly with negatives, adjectives and verbs as described below.
Sweet as = That is quite satisfactory!
Na, sweet as, I’m full as = No, indeed, I have eaten too much!
2. very, extremely, so, most – when preceded by an adjective preceded by hard out it expresses the superlative.   This place is hard out beautiful as. = This place is extremely beautiful.
3. best , accomplished – when following wicked or mean.
MJ was wicked as at basketball = Michael Jordon was the best basketball player.
MJ was a mean as singer = Michael Jackson was a very accomplished singer

Origin:
bef. 1000; ME as, als, alse, also, OE alsw�, ealsw� all so, quite so, quite as, as; c. MD alse (D als), OHG als� (MHG áls�, álse, als, G also so, als as, as if, because) circa 1960; Nu Zild BRO  sweet as, bro.